Is the part of the whole detox-diet thing that I was dreading. I knew it was coming. It always comes. It always derails me. It always sets me back. I had just been hoping it would take me longer than 2.5 days to get here. *sigh*

I left work hungry. Never a good sign. I stopped at Safeway to get the soup for the base of the chickpea stew I wanted to make for dinner. I figured I'd make the stew to go over the rice I cooked last night. Then I waited for Muni. For over 40 minutes. *sigh* I had a headache by the time I got home. But, I started making the stew as soon as I got home and things were going well. It was easy to put together and I cleaned up as I went.

I checked another cookbook and realized I could make the chickpea flatbread and they should both be done about the same time. Great! I wasn't sure that the stew would be enough, but with the flatbread it would be perfect. I was mixing the flatbread when E came home. I knew he had forgotten his drink today, didn't eat breakfast, and was over-hungry. I had hoped to have things ready by the time he got home, but Muni saw that that didn't happen. With about 20 minutes left before dinner, he left to do an errand with his bike.

The flatbread looked watery -- it called for 4 cups of water or more! -- but I popped it in the oven anyway. In 15 minutes it was still soup. As it was after 30 minutes. After about a hour it had set to a soft pudding-like consistency. And E still wasn't home. All this time my headache was growing as were my feelings of defeat and grumpiness.

I had just given up and was about to start eating without him when E came home. The stew was tasty, though I'll add potatoes next time to bulk it up a bit. The flatbread... well, E said it tasted good, but I don't really believe him. It was nasty and gross and I want to go bury it in the backyard.

I know that not every attempt in the kitchen pans out. I know that this will become a story that we tell and laugh about in the future. "Remember that flatbread pudding? Hahaha." But right now... I feel defeated, tired, I have a headache, and I just don't care. Which is making me pissy and grouchy. And I really want a cookie. Not one of the rice flour fruit juice sweetened cookies we have either. A REAL cookie.

This is the hard part of the cleanse, when I don't care. I feel poopy and want to comfort myself with food. Yes, I know this is the habit/cycle I need to break. But it's just so damn hard. I was feeling really good about making this work. I hope I can get that feeling back and let this go.